My Friend Susan

On Sunday morning, Nov. 1, 2015, Clyde and I had just left our motel in Chattanooga.  We had been to Florida for two weeks.  We got a call around 8:15 a.m. from our long time friend, Chris.  Nothing prepared us for his saying Susan had gotten sick the day before with what he thought was a virus. As the day went on, he said she got worse.  Then he said "she died" or "she's gone".  Either way, we were in shock with disbelief.  

We were coming home to attend little 3 1/2 yr. old Bennett's funeral visitation.  She was to be buried the next day, Monday.  Upon driving into town, we went home to change clothes, and went to see Chris.  We stopped by Panera's to take in some bagels and a pastry ring....which was the quickest thing I could think of.  I really wanted to make sure we had understood him.

Sadly, she was gone.  The friend that laughed all the time.  That never had an ugly thing to say about anyone.  The one that always was ready for an adventure.  A lunch out with the girls.  A ride in the convertible to Windy Corner.  The Nai Nai Pilgrim loved that takes him to the park, the Library, the mall and to BSF.  The grandmother to Charlotte who was so happy to have a grand-daughter.  That thought Charlotte was the prettiest little girl and she never saw a stranger.  She loved that Charlotte would "go to" most people and was so friendly.  How can this be?  But it is true.

When we got to Chris & Sue's home, her brothers and their wives were there.  Her sister and husband as well.  Chip, Mallary, Pilgrim was napping, Joe & Stefanie, Charlotte was going down to nap, all there.  Brewster came in, with a bucket of chicken.  While there, we went through her closet, laundry room as well, choosing exactly the right thing for her to wear.  My thoughts:  she would want to look nice.  She always cared so much about what she wore, what her hair looked like, and how her makeup was.  She would want to look pretty.  She was pretty.  So very attractive.  Everyone thought so. I'm so sorry Sue.  You didn't know, when you left the house last, your family would be going through your things.  

When I called you from Florida, and asked if I should bring home my capris, we never had any thought that I would be helping choose your funeral clothes, a week later.  We had NO idea.  Nothing prepared us for your death.  You were strong.  You walked more than anyone.  You rode your bike.  You swam at UK and this summer with me at Equestrian Woods. You ate well, watched every bite.  How this could attack you in one day, and take you on to Heaven, just hard to even think about, even now.  After your funeral on Thursday, still hard to believe.  But it's true.  You are gone for now.  We'll see you again.  

You would have been blown away to see how many came to your visitation.  It started at three p.m. and as I was leaving the kitchen area, I stopped by the chapel area, to see the last few going through to speak to Chris.  It was after 9:00.  This was Wed. evening, Nov. 4th. I heard that Mallary asked anyone that wouldn't mind to sign the book and leave without seeing Chris.  That he was worn out at this point.   Our ABF class brought in food for the visitation.  Clyde and I took the left overs back to Chris' house.  Thursday came.  Funeral service.  It was at the church as visitation had been at Kerr Bros.  

The church had much more room and Susan's friends, family, Chris' friends, their church family, we all helped fill it.  Mallary had called to ask if I would speak as well as two other friends.  Of course, I agreed.  My stomach was full of knots.  The morning of, I prayed for Patty and Elaine.  The peace that passeth all understanding washed over me.  I felt so calm.  Said what I planned without tears.  I did for Sue what she would have done for me.  

The days to come will be sad for Chris.  He will miss her like crazy.  With her retirement, she was with him a lot.  She worked with him for their car business.  They rode their convertibles on nice days.  They loved.  He will be lost, for awhile, but he will be OK.  He will go on.  He will not stop.  He will work, go to church, BSF, and maybe come out with friends!  He will miss his other half.  He'll see her again.  

 Susan is sitting on the left.  

 Doesn't she look lovely sitting up front on the floor?  

   This was the first night they arrived late (on Tuesday), after we had eaten.  She texted "where's the party"?  I told her to come on up!  They didn't stay late, after a long day of travel.

Sue loved the beach.  She walked on the sandy shores a lot.  After we left on Friday, she and Chris stayed until Sunday.  This was a gift.  To both of them.  I wish I had taken more pictures.  This is all I have.  What I would have given to have more.  But we do have our memories.  Seeing she and Chris sitting alone on at the water's edge.  A gift.  A blessing.  Thank you God.  Thank you for the gift of friendship.  Thank you for the  memories.  Thank you for Susan.  

Pictures from Patti's 1880's Settlement

 Here are a few pictures from Patti's. There was lots to do while you waited for your table. Reservations are recommended, however.  Mostly there are shops and garden areas. And of course the restaurant is the big reason to go there!  Our meal at Moonlite was much bigger and less expensive than Patti's. So we were split in the middle on our choice of best place to eat.  Clyde probably preferred Moonlite and I liked Patti's best.

The photos below are not good ones, but several have said they had not heard of Patti's before.  These are good to show the inside dining room and the shops around the restaurant.  

Liberty Cont.

I'm pretty sure this won't sound funny, but I smile thinking of my recent conversation with mother.  At the time this happened, maybe a couple weeks ago, she never said a word.  She said something about her laundry, no I remember, last Thursday she pointed out this lady.  She said "she's the one that took my dryer"....or stole my dryer....not sure exactly the words.  That got my attention.  

"Mom, what do you mean?" "My clothes were in the dryer, and almost dry I came back to check them, and get them out.  This lady was getting hers and MINE out of the dryer I had been using." Now, my mother's face had to be priceless. As she walked in and the lady was putting all the clothes in her basket.  I don't know what mom said to her, most likely "those are my clothes".....but whatever, they stopped and started sorting clothes.

As I sit here giggling, mother said she had to take back undies that didn't belong to her and the lady did the same for mom.  

Yesterday she said she had a quiet day trying to feel better from her weekend upset stomach, and she hasn't eaten much, so she is weak. She said she had done some laundry and needed to go get her dried clothes.  I laughed and told her to check and make sure she didn't have someone else's clothes as well as hers.  They do live independently as much as possible and do much of their own laundry (sheets & maybe towels are done for her).  Never having to share a laundry room in 65 years makes this interesting for her!

Learn to share mom!

Liberty

Unless I go through all my past posts, I don't remember if I have blogged photos of our visits to mom.  Or exactly what all I have written before of her "new home".  I don't want to repeat, but she is on my mind more than most things these days.  

Maybe due to the fact Clyde and I will be spending this winter in Jensen. Or that she has been sick for a few days either with a virus or a real ugly reaction (which isn't likely) from her flu shot.  Just thinking of leaving she and Clyde's mom for a few months, when they are the age they are, just concerns me.  I, also, don't look forward to not seeing the four grandkids or my own kids for three months.  They change a lot, have many ball games, and family times we will miss out on.  However, we miss a lot of games when we are home, and they have gotten to the age when they don't come here as often as when they were small.  So......we'll manage!

If mom is able and Clyde's mom wants to, it is in our minds to have them fly down for a week in February, possibly.  Something we hope happens, not sure if it will.  Most likely not the same week, due to sleeping arrangements.  Who knows!

I called mom to check on her this afternoon and conversation turned to her siblings.  Today is one of her brother's birthday, which led her to tell me each of her siblings birthdays.  Mom is 88 and this was said without a breath.  She may have said them in birth order, but I was trying to write them down quickly and didn't get them in order!

Elmer-Sept. 30, Ed-Sept. 14, Shird-Jan. 8, Maud-April 20, Ella-July 7, Twins Ora & Ira-Feb. 12, Gertrude (my favorite aunt) Nov. 5, Ernest (lived with granny until she passed) Oct. 17,  Minnie-Aug. 17, Bob (he was the last sibling to pass, a couple of years ago)-Sept. 12 and mother, will turn 89 Dec. 9th.  She has one sister die, in a fire I believe, but she couldn't remember where she came in the birth order.

She is pretty sharp!  Here are some pictures of our visits and some of mom's activities and friends.  

 She give Lucas $1 most visits.  She likes Wendy's frosty's.

 Luke looking at his BFF, Sarah.  She is so good as she works there with the residents and the babies love her as well.

 Sarah polishes their nails on Thursday at 3.

 This lady has a dog and sits at mom's table for meals.  Her name is Joy.  She is a good friend for mom to talk to.

On the left is A.J. he has the small dog, Tucker.  In the chair is Barkley, he likes sweets, and I try to bring him some! 

 On their way to the dining room for the Luau.

 Mom likes to play bingo.  You earn "bucks" for the auction where you can "buy" supplies/food/sweets/treats.

 Mom doesn't go out to sit, that I am aware, very often although I wish she would.  They have several nice patio's off the dining room and these benches out front.  

One day after lunch, the girls went with me to visit mom.  Wasn't that sweet!

Food Run Summer 2015

Clyde wanted to take a quick summer trip so he started thinking of places I may like to go.  We thought of Gatlinburg....too much traffic.  Brown County.....we like to go there in the fall.  In talking to Guy C. who mentioned how nice the River Walk is in Owensboro, Clyde remembered how much he liked eating (many years ago) at the Moonlite Rest. so plans started forming.  

He calls this trip a "food run" due to the fact he planned the eating stops with anything else added in.  On Saturday, we headed to Owensboro to stay at the Ramada Inn (both the big motels on the river were full) and it was close enough to the River Walk.  We went to the Botanical Gardens, which were much like our Arboretum.  Nice enough, hot, and no buildings were open.  

After there, we stopped at Reid's Orchard.  A bigger mistake.  There was a very big Country Music Festival.  We were NOT dressed to attend and didn't want to spend the remainder of the day and evening there.  So we went to Yellow Creek Park. It was pretty cool.  We hiked a bit, ate a snack of fruit and cheese, and just wandered about.  

From there, we went back to our motel and cleaned up, headed to the Moonlite Barbecue for an all you can eat buffet.  However, it was too late for me to eat the buffet (along with dessert) so we opted for a plate meal.  It was more than I would have eaten on the buffet.  I left meat, and each dish partly eaten.  The corn muffins were the very best!

After eating, we went to the River Walk.  As soon as we pulled up, it started a light rain, for about 10 mins. then stopped.  We got out and walked around but it was dark soon.  The lights on the river were nice but the park, Smothers Park, was too great not to go back in the daylight.  We sat on the swings and watched the boats and water features that were pretty spectacular.  

 Sunday a.m., went back to River Walk, took lots of pics of the water features and park.  I loved it so much and would recommend anyone with kids to put on their suits, water shoes, and go there!  The bathrooms were very nice as well!  Concession stand at the park.  

 I know Lucas would love swinging in this!

 The swings above provide a nice place to rest!

After this, we headed for Kentucky Dam Village and to eat at our next "food stop", Patti's 1880 in Grand Rivers, Ky.  It is not far from the interstate and very worth the trip.  There were many gift shops, flower gardens, and things to do while waiting.  You can call ahead for reservations, which I would do.  They are famous for their thick pork chops (Clyde), flower pot bread and mile-high meringue pie (me).  

Plus, we are staying on Kentucky Lake in Ky. Dam Village Lodge.  Walked out on the water and watched boats for a bit.  Tomorrow, we head for the Corvette Factory and home.  Short trip, but we have taken all the backroads.  Very little on the interstates.  We have seen more cornfields than I may ever have seen.  Today, Sunday, we pulled over to check the map (GPS does not have every little back road!) and two men in pick up trucks stopped to ask if we needed help.  Really!  Very nice little get away although nothing special, just special to me!  

Liberty Ridge

It was six months on July 25th that Kent passed away.  He was buried on the 28th.  Mom moved into Liberty Ridge shortly after that.  

For many years, I worked down the road from their home at 451 Lamont Dr.   On my way home on Monday, Wed, and Fri I would stop by to play Rook (old story:).  Dad and Kent were partners, mom & me.  Same seats, same partners.  Eventually, when dad got to feeling bad, then worse, he played when he didn't want to.  He knew mom & Kent did.  Many times, when it was freezing and I had just come from bus duty, I didn't want to stop.  I would call just to ask, on the hope they would say "it's bad out, you need to go on home".  No, mom would say "you do what you think is best" and I would go by.

Then, dad passed and the three of us went to rummy (again, old news).  My point to this post is that none of us know when the "last" time is.  Last time you see your loved one, last hug, last "I love you", last Rook game, last Rummy game.  We played Rummy for four years, 2-3 times a week, until this January, 2015.  Clyde and I went to Florida, our last game was in December right before we left.  I didn't know it would be the last game.

Now, mom and I don't play.  I am sad about that.  You may think we could, and we could.  But now, I go and visit and she just sits.  Sits out in the lobby waiting.  Waiting for the next event, for lunch or supper, or for each of us to drop by.  Now, don't get me wrong, she has plenty of visits.  But no more Rummy.  I have a hard time leaving.  Things have changed.  Mom has changed some.  She is quieter.  I think she is happy enough and likes her friends there.  She likes the fun things they do, the performers who come, but she is sad too.  She misses those games.  She misses Kent.  She still misses dad.

 This is mom's table of friends.  They eat all meals at the same table.

 The above pics were from the 4th of July celebration there.  They had a performer.

 This gentleman is a true "gentleman".  Such manners.  I enjoy him a lot!

 This little doggie is Tucker.  Such a great doggie!  Brings the residents SO much joy.

 The above and ones below are from today, July 30, 2015.  This lady likes Wendy's frosty's.  I brought her one and will again, but getting them there, when she is downstairs and when she isn't about ready to eat, or has just eaten.....not easy.  She has given Lucas $3 at different visits ($1 each time).  I try to tell her no, but I don't want to rob her of the joy of giving.

 Luke like moms wheels.  He sits there, runs it around, rolls all over it.

 This is Tucker's (the doggie) dad.  Lucas honestly just walks over to these men, and climbs up in their lap.  They don't ask, he just does it.  The women I can't get him to sit still for a photo.

 Jason is such a sport.  He comes by here to pick him up and is SO hot and tired and hasn't been home to change, but he comes in.  I heard mom say today that Lucas' dad was coming and he always comes in and gives her a hug even though he doesn't like coming straight from work.  

These two are random pics from last week.  Not today.

I am looking forward to going to Florida in January-March.  How am I going to leave mother?  What if I go and she isn't here when I get back?  I am so excited to leave but concerned.  I am wondering if she could make the trip south for a couple of weeks.  Something to think about.  For now, I will not take these moments for granted.  I will appreciate each visit and count them a gift.